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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Staring at the screen and having no idea how to start...

The news yesterday was really very disappointing... It just creates this void emotion.. I keep hearing it's happening but I don't see any signs, the feeling of not knowing is not very pleasant.

It's taking way too long that it makes me feel like I'm probably just a cheap puppet they have tons of use for and that I'm being too nice for staying so long. I have no benefits whatsoever, it really sux. Not that I want those benefits but in all seriousness, I'm not getting anything at all! Except my salary... Sure I have my perks, like taxi fares that are paid for, flexibility of working hours and a very comfortable environment to work in but... I don't know if anyone understands what I'm trying to say but yeah, these are all not written in black & white. It can be taken away from me anytime.

I tell myself that there are tons of people this process has to go through before it comes to a conclusion but that doesn't help. It's very disappointing, very demotivating, very discouraging and very demoralizing. Have I been doing everything to my best effort for nothing?

*Great, just got a paper cut.*

Give me something to harbour hope for. The flame of hope in me is slowly dying.